What to Text Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend: Messages That Land Well

Texting has become the main way many couples stay in touch. It is quick and it works across any distance, but tone is easy to misread without a voice or a face. These ideas apply to a girlfriend, a boyfriend or someone you are just getting to know. Use them as a starting point and put them into your own words.

The first message to someone you like

• Introduce yourself briefly if they do not have your number.
• Refer to something you share: "It was great meeting you at Anna's. I'm still thinking about that book you recommended."
• End with something easy to answer, such as a question.
• Do not write a paragraph. One or two sentences is enough.

Examples you can adapt

Starting a conversation

• "Hey, it's Sam. I had fun today. Would you like to do it again on Friday?"
• "I can't stop smiling at the photo from the lake."

Encouragement

• "Good luck with the presentation. You'll be great."
• "Thinking of you before your exam. Call me after and tell me everything."

Good morning and good night

• "Good morning. I hope today is kind to you."
• "Sleep well. Tomorrow I want to hear about your day."

When you are apart

• "Counting the days until I see you. Same place, same time?"
• "Send me a photo of your view today. I'll send mine."

After a disagreement

• "I'm sorry for how I said it. I'd like to talk when you're ready."
• "No pressure to reply. I just wanted you to know I care."

Common mistakes

• Too intense too soon. Declarations of love in the first week can feel overwhelming.
• Copy-paste poems. They are easy to recognise. A single honest sentence is better.
• Heavy text-speak. Abbreviations such as LOL and ABT2 are fine among friends, but they can seem careless in a first message.
• Constant checking in. Give the other person space to answer.
• Serious topics by text. Ask to call instead; tone gets lost in writing.

Keeping things warm

1. Share small details of your day.
2. Send a message for no reason from time to time.
3. Remember what they told you and ask about it.
4. Switch to a call or a video chat when the topic matters.

Texting across time zones

If you live in different time zones, think about when the message will arrive: a cheerful "good morning" at 3 a.m. is a wake-up call. Schedule the important messages for the other person's evening.

Sending from a computer

If your phone is out of reach or you are abroad, you can still send an SMS: use the SMS tool and learn what to expect in international texting. Looking for shorter ideas? Try love SMS and stage-by-stage love messages.

Messages for special occasions

• Birthday: "Happy birthday. I'm so glad you were born, and so lucky that you're in my life."
• Anniversary: "A year ago I was nervous about what to say. Today I know exactly what I'd like to say: thank you."
• Good luck: "You've worked hard for this. Whatever happens, I'm proud of you."
• Just because: "I saw something that reminded me of you and smiled for ten minutes."

How often should you text?

There is no rule. A good guide is to match the rhythm of the other person and make sure that messages feel like a pleasant surprise, not an obligation. If you want more conversation, call or open a video chat instead of sending more texts.